- We are not as cute as we, and our relatives, thought we were in younger years.
- We may be a lot cuter than we, and our relatives, thought we would be in younger years.
- Standing out, even if its for a good reason, can still be painful and embarassing.
- Acne happens.
- Older kids get to push you around, just by virtue of being ahead of you school....your first "pecking order" lesson.
- Teachers play favorites.
- Homework is WORK.
- If you are short, you always have to be in the front row in pictures and in choir.
- The reverse is true for the tall kids.
- Thin girls get more attention from boys.
- Athletic boys get more attention from girls.
- Being smart does not equal being popular.
- Not all kids have someone at home who makes them supper, cleans their clothes, and checks their homework.
- Things aren't always fair.
As I sat there watching these awkward young boys and girls, some of them struggling to balance on high heels, some who were afraid to move because it would mess up their hair, some who looked embarassed to be there, some with these amazingly nice clothes, and some who you KNEW had to struggle to find something suitable to wear, I felt so empathetic. I felt their pain, as if I was back in 7th grade myself. When I started 7th grade, I didn't know that I would be judged so much on how I looked vs. who I was. I was awkward without knowing it. My mom curled my hair for me for the first two days of 7th grade. After that, I was on my own. Ouch. It wasn't pretty. But I didn't know it....not at first.
Let me backtrack. I was singled out for my intelligence, put in a special block-class, and was assured by my teachers that it was such an honor. All that I knew is that I was starting Junior High, I was shy, and that now I was being pulled away from my friends and my "comfort" zone, and put into a room with kids from other schools who I had never met (I was the only one chosen from my school). I was petrified. And embarassed! I had to try to explain to my friends why I didn't have any of them with me in "homeroom" and why I didn't have so many classes with them.....without trying to draw attention to myself, and without them being offended that they weren't in there, too. I was so mortified that I didn't even allow myself to be that intrigued with the class. If I could go back and do it all over (very original, I know), I would grab that class by the horns and ride its back all the way to Princeton! So, you see, it took me awhile to notice that I didn't look quite as good as the other girls....not put-together like they were. I learned to look at cute boys from a distance and have fantasy conversations with them where I would say cool things and impress them with my wit and wisdom. I was in a mold that was partly my creation, partly my teachers creation.
You have to learn to survive in Junior High. Your mom is not there to chase all of the bad people, words, looks, thoughts away. You get slapped in the face a bit with reality, and our hope, my hope, is that you grow stronger, more savvy, more comfortable and that you use this time as a stepping stone toward finding the place that is YOU. I look at my son.....so much like me at that age.....smart, conscientious, nice, and yes, nerdy.....and I want to fast forward him to that good space. But I can't. I want to save him and every other kid in that school from feeling awkward, out of place, not good enough. But I can't. And I shouldn't. Its part of learning, of growing. We're a product of our choices, and its in Junior High that we start to independently choose our path. So, to all of those suffering through these tough years, take heart. Your parents may not say it, but they, too, remember Junior High, and we all know what you're going through. Keep your eyes focused forward, but also inward on the "real" you, and you will learn, laugh, cry, die a million times from embarassment, live to laugh about those times, and grow from each experience.
